Is it worth it? - An insight into arranged love marriages

Courtesy 2 states by Chetan Bhagat arranged love marriage is the way to go for today’s youngsters. It is easy for some and not-so easy for most of us.

The problem starts when a guy or girl approaches marriageable age. Prospects start coming to the girl’s house. The questions they ask range from ‘What is your height’ to ‘What are your future plans’. As if they will let her follow her dreams. It is a bitter truth that we girls have to constantly compromise career growth for family satisfaction. Most of the girls I know were ‘not allowed’ to pursue their desired field! ‘Allowed’ is the operative here.  I personally know doctors, engineers and management professionals who married well and quit their jobs.

Then if the girl passes the acid test, the family starts negotiating the deliverables. What kind of marriage, how many guests, which marriage hall to what kind of and how much of ornaments is discussed in detail and followed promptly by the girl’s side.

This does not end here. There are festivals and social occasions where you have to reward the in-laws suitably. Otherwise you never know when they will send your daughter back to your doorsteps.

Now let’s have an insight into arranged love marriage:

The guy and his family directly ask for the girl’s hand. There is no need to show her around and then wait for the reply. Further, there is no threat of a rejection. This is the worst part of an arranged marriage. You cannot imagine the pain of rejection when people say no for reasons as simple as her complexion or height.

Both the families are on equal footing. The girl does not necessarily come loaded with gifts and ornaments. She is accepted for herself and not for her family’s status or position.

Life long she gets to live with a person who knows and understands her. Someone, who knows her as a person not as XYZ’s daughter, she remains free to follow her dreams.

The best reason to accept such proposal is ‘This makes her happy’. Not for now but for ever.

Disclaimer: Not every person has the same experience. It is quite possible that the girl may have a supporting family in arranged marriage and a nasty experience in a love marriage. I apologize if I have hurt anyone’s sentiments over here.